I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
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