So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Randomize
