Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
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