I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
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