Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
