Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
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