I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
I've got a whole match.com system. Triple book. First dates always get the 6pm happy hour drinks slot. 8pm dinner goes to a girl where I think I can close the deal. 10pm slot goes to the sure thing in case of emergency, but 6 can always trump 8 and 8 always trumps 10. Just blame it on a dead iPhone battery.
That, my friend, is how I bang 50 new girls a year. Not luck at all. It's science and statistics.
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize
