going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
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