Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
they need to just BURY HIM!
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
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