so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
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