Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
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