How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize