in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
Randomize