they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
Go christen that room with your naked body.
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
Randomize
