maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
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