all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
wtf are you talking about? You vomit-splattered the cop from the balcony. The cop YOU called because you drunk-dialed 911 because a 5 year old ate the last donut.
it was a krispy kreme
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
Randomize
