also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
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