test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
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