I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
Randomize
