How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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