My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
Randomize
