i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
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