I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
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