my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
Randomize
