The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
Come on in and take your pants off
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