The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
Randomize
