He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
