her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
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