I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
Randomize
