Apparently you make a good broom.
I wish they made helmets for livers.
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
Randomize
