I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
Randomize