why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
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