we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
Randomize
