Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
Randomize
