So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
Randomize