My hand turned me down
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
We have so much sex to catch up on
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
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