so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
Randomize
