break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
Randomize
