How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
Randomize
