that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
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