Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
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