I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
Randomize
