We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
Randomize
