It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
Imagine two people making love on top of a unicorn . . . my life is the opposite of that.
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
my shit smells like andre
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
Randomize
