You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
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