Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
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