it wasn't lemon gatorade
i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
Randomize
