i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
