Im at strip club and am horny
He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
The cops high fived after they tackled you
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
Randomize
