I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
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