what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
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