I like to think it a success when the cops are called
he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
Randomize
