I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
Randomize
