Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
Randomize
