WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
Randomize