I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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