Rock
Scissors
Fuck
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
Randomize
