I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
Randomize
