Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
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