Ambien. No doubt about it.
I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Randomize