after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
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