dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
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