I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI.
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Randomize
