I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
Randomize
