Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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