i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
Randomize
