Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
Randomize
