ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
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